"God, by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of, infinately beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes." Ephesians 3:20 (Living Bible)
I have now been living with single-sided deafness for over 10 months. With spring coming and our schedule getting busier, I decided it was time to check on the possibility of getting a Bone Anchored Hearing Device. It is a titanium piece that is drilled in to the skull bone. When it heals, about 2-4 months later, a sound processor is snapped on to it. The sound travels through the skull, so it can be heard.
I called and left a message on the answering machine of the Lippy Group, explaining that I was ready for them to check my insurance to see if it was a covered procedure. They quickly got back to me that it is a covered procedure. From there, the insurance had to approve the prodedure. They deemed that it was "medically necessary."
Scheduling came next. I was surprised that they had a time available on March 17th. So that's when it is. I am very excited. They called today to ask me what color a want my processor to be. I will also be getting a packet of papers to fill out, including some papers for my regular doctor to fill out to make sure I'm in good health for the surgery.
This will be a busy two weeks. I am tired, rather complacent, and have an underlying anxiousness all at the same time. There's a lot I should do before surgery. Now I just have to convince myself to do at least some of it.
There are times that we can anticipate when life may get a little hairy.
I think being able to anticipate possible difficulties benefits us. It gives us time to prepare and be strengthened... to put on the full armor of God. (Ephesians 6:10-18)
Yesterday, I was anticipating one of these hairy times. I don't know what to expect from the situation, but I know that whatever happens it will work out. Thinking about the situation, one of our praise choruses came to my mind as I left for work in the morning. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." Of course, my memory for songs is not a good one, so the only other lines I remembered were the next two which say, "We will wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord."
Coming home from work, still thinking about the hairiness that may come, I started to hum the song again. Since I couldn't remember the rest of the song, I thought, "I would love to hear this song on the radio." The radio was already tuned to my favorite station, 95.5 The Fish, so I pushed the button to turn it on. This is what I heard...
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord (repeat)
Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
When we started out married, we would talk about how many kids we wanted. I believe 4 was the magic number. As Mikayla was growing in my tummy, (although we didn't know if she was a she or a he), I would lay on the couch feeling her punch and kick and roll and the words that came to my mouth were, "We've got to do this again!" Every moment since then my thoughts and feelings have been the same.
Except it hasn't happened again. We now have heaps of clothing from birth to size 10 at our house, in one particular room. I've watched the show "Hoarders" and can see how hoarding can happen to nice normal people. I'm not saying that we are to that extent, but how a circumstance or something that doesn't happen can shape the mind to save.
We are getting ready to sell some of the baby furniture to someone who wants it. To get it out of the room, we need to get rid of some of the stuff we have. That's not the only reason though. We can no longer use the clothing, but could use the room if it were empty of things we don't use. If we decide to move in the future, we're not going to want to go through all of that either.
This morning, going through the clothes and getting them ready to go to Goodwill became a bit difficult. Thinking about how we wanted to use the clothes again, the room again...
Making room. That's what it's all about. We need to get rid of the old stuff to make room for the new stuff. I think that getting that space empty is harder when you don't know what the new "stuff" is. As followers of God, that new "stuff" could be anything and the empty space and waiting time is important. One of my life theme verses is Ephesians 3:20. "God, by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of, infinately beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes." Now is the time to make room for that to happen.
I like to write an end of the year post, summing up the year gone by, especially if I am inspired. Thinking back over the songs from church today I thought that using one of them to help me sum up my year would be a good idea. We sang many of my favorites today, but "Potter's Hand" is the one I decided to use.
2010 was a good, solid year. In the summer/fall of 2009 in knew that my incoming second grade class was going to be a challenge. In October 2009, I broke down and prayed for something I've always been afraid to ask for... patience. (They say that if you pray for patience, God will give you circumstances where you will have to practice patience. I was already smack dab in the middle of those circumstances, so I had faith it would all work out!)
God answered those prayers. I was able to deal with my class with patience and love. They taught me lots about God, not even knowing that they did. I hope I did the same for them. The winter and spring of 2010 was a time of strengthening. I knew God put me here for a purpose and I knew I was doing what he wanted done.
In April, I lost my hearing in my left ear. What I thought was seasonal allergies, turned out to be sudden deafness. Losing my hearing was scary, but the questions that came along with it were scary too - the main question being, "What if I pray for God to heal me and he doesn't?"
I went to one of our ministers to discuss the matter. I told him I didn't know if I should pray for it to come back or not. I told him that maybe God had something else for me, involving the hearing loss. He asked if I wanted my hearing back and of course I said yes. He told me to pray for it. Of course that's when I needed to know, "What if?"
That's when he reminded me of the story about the three in the firey furnace.
Daniel 3:17" If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
That was my answer. God will give me back my hearing, BUT IF NOT, he will still be my God. He will give me what I need to serve Him.
That's my 2010. I feel stronger and so grateful to God for all that he has given me. My hearing has not returned, but God has showed me the strength He can give. I did not throw my hands up and say, "I can't do my job." "I can't go out in public because I misunderstand people or can't hear with background noise." I returned for the 2010 school year and have made appropriate adaptations for my hearing loss. I have continued to live, hopefully with the zeal and spiritual fervor mentioned in Romans 12:11.
Here are the words to "Potter's Hand." I hope you can see how this song applies to my 2010 and how it applies to your life as well.
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans
You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes
I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray
Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand
I had one of those "sure to happen at least once in a lifetime" adventures the other day and decided to share it on my facebook status. I enjoyed writing it and I could tell that my friends enjoyed reading it. Thought I'd share it here too!
If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll drop it under your oven, so when your hamster gets loose, the hamster will go under the oven to eat it.
Then the kids will start crying because the hamster is under the oven. So you move the oven.
When you move the oven you realize how nasty it is under there and so you sweep it.
After you sweep it you realize you also need to mop. And clean the sides of the oven. And the counter that you never see.
Moral of the story: Don't give the mouse a cookie and don't let the kids take the hamster out of its cage unless you feel like cleaning your entire kitchen!
I should be going to bed, but I've decided to post an update about the last couple of months.
October was extremely busy. It included a one day trip to Pittsburgh, a camp-out with Girl Scouts, lots of soccer, report cards, parent teacher conferences, and a weekend women's retreat. The retreat was wonderful, but the busyness of life hit me square in the face as soon as I got home. By the end of the month, I desperately needed a weekend at home.
November has been slower and easier to deal with. That even includes our weekend away in New York City. What an adventure that was! We got on a bus at 9:00 on a Friday night and were driven to NYC. By 8:30 in the morning we were looking at the Statue of Liberty and had a full day of experiences very unlike those we have at home. We got back on the bus at 9:00 pm and were driven back to Ohio. We were home by 6:00 Sunday morning.
So, how am I dealing with my hearing loss? Well, basically I'm so busy I don't think about it much. I adapt when I need to adapt. I get frustrated once in a while, but not a lot. I see that I am capable of just about anything still. I know that I do miss my hearing and wish that it was easier. One of my most difficult days was at my last ENT appointment. Because of a scheduling mix up, I did not have a hearing test. The doctor asked how I was doing and if I thought that I would want something to help me with my hearing loss. I feel like I'm adapting well, but really think life would be easier, especially in the classroom with some hearing help. Being the pleaser that I am, I wanted to do what the doctor thinks I should do. If he thinks I can live without hearing aids or surgery, then I wanted to live without those things. But here's the thing... the doctor is not hard of hearing and I am an... adult. This is MY decision to make. He can't know how easy or difficult things are for me. He can't make this decision for me. I was quite anxious for a day or so, while I worked through these issues.
Well, that sums up the last couple of months. On to the last month and a half of 2010!
I have some sermon notes from the most current series of sermons - Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader. I thought I would write a couple of blogs with the material that popped out at me.
November 16th, the sermon was on Elijah - 1 Kings 18. The class lessons included...
1. Don't be afraid. Sometimes you will need to stand alone.
2. Don't be divided.
3. Don't underestimate the power of one totally dedicated life.
Number 3 really popped out at me. I try to be dedicated, but sometimes I just really mess up. I pray that my life will still have a positive effect on others. During this sermon, the preacher also talked about blame displacement and how we should take responsibility for our actions. Its not always easy to do that, but I do believe it is important.
I am a wife and mother, who works full-time as a second grade teacher. Life can be busy and difficult at times, but with God's help I get through it all... and come up a little wiser in the end!
